29th April 2009

Hey la

A dreaded blowy day, so I stay inside. In fact, I’ve been doing so much of the staying inside that I got myself an office so that I have yet another place to do it in.

It’s true, I got myself an office. A God Help The Girl sort of an office. I’ve got a desk, a phone. Now I need something to do in it.

It’s in an old building with lots of corridors, with lots of doors, so there’s a 40’s detective agency vibe. I’m really just hiding out here. The lady said that I had a postal address, and would I want another chair? And I said ‘No, I don’t want anyone to know I’m here!’

But I feel a bit useless. It was like that time I was unemployed for a few weeks when I was a student and went to get my dole money, but they gave me a job as a Leader Of Youth, and I never went back to being a student! Just became a full time Leader of Youth!

What I mean is that now I have an office I have an inclination to put it to use beyond my intended use of somewhere to hide my bicyle and somewhere to hide me! I was thinking of starting Indie Foot Massages, but I notice there’s foot massages across the hall from me, so I’m thinking of setting up as some sort of Healer!

I told my wife my intention last night and she said that I really ought to have some sort of certificate before I set myself up as a healer, and I said, well surely you’ve either got it or you haven’t. I think we’re both right. You probably just need to get  a certificate to show that you have in fact got ‘It’. It’s just hard to find someone who would be able to tell you for sure.  Like a guru or a prophet or someone.

So I got my office to show that I mean business with this God Help The Girl business. I am now in the business of business! I’m going to put the phone on the desk and wait for it to ring! I don’t really know what I’m waiting for. Girls?

I got fed up waiting and I went to see John from the popular group Butcher Boy. John had read my diary from last week. He lives in the house I used to live in, and had been cleaning out the cupboards, and he found a bar of Green And Black’s Maya Gold! And it was pre-reformation Maya Gold! Total unexpected bonus.

John lives in my old flat and has an amazing view. He’s been enjoying the blooming of the trees, and the tweeting of birds. And fireworks! Bit of strange one, in April. But he says that it’s a signal from a drug dealer to tell his customers that he has got his new supply in! I didn’t know that!

A friend of mine has a boyfriend who has just become a policeman. Imagine I tip him off to this bit of information, and he watches out for fireworks, and goes around arresting the dealers that are letting them off. He could make lieutenant by Christmas!

I just thought about what I could do with my office apart from keep my bike there and heal the occasional indie invalid. I could put up all the posters that my wife won’t let me put up in the house! There’s my Desperately Seeking Susan poster, and my Periodic Table Of The Elements. There’s my poster of the original cast members of Fame, and I also have Cars And Trucks And Things That Go. I also have a picture of some feet with their pressure points marked in case the lady across the hall ever moves and I make a go of the indie foot massage thing.

Look out for my Desperately Seeking Susan poster in the new video from God Help The Girl. In the background somewhere, above the sofa. I’ll post the link up here soon…

Stuart

 

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