I always come find you on days like this. Stoopid days full of dumb no fun stuff. Then I come find you and whine a little bit. But I feel better after, so be glad in the knowledge that you are providing a service, dear reader.
For that service I will try and pay you back, but more of that later.
So what maketh the day dumb, you ask? Not too much. Last night the pipe under the sink in the kitchen popped open. No warning, just popped apart and started gushing. Lucky I was there at the time or I’d be like one of those families’s you see in the rowboat being rescued by the fire brigade.
I tried to stop the gush. I did all the comedy Abbott and Costello type things of course. Put my hands up to the leak, got my hair and face all wet as the spray exploded around me. I realised I needed a screw driver, so I ran around the house till I finally got one, turned the screw, and it went off.
As far as I could see it was something to do with the valve, or at least the ankle fitting between two pipes. I went to bed, but this morning I was determined not to call the plumber.
You see, in certain quarters I’m known as a person who is no good at DIY, or anything practical really. The truth is, they’re right, those certain quarters! I just get tired of defending myself though. I always just pick up the phone and pay a man. I’ve been through it so many times, I know that I’m just going to have to pay a man anyway, may as well pick up the phone before the best of the day is gone.
Thing is; now I’m married to Marisa, and she’s a little doozer when it comes to fixing stuff. She practically goes around the house with a tool belt strapped on. She gets it from her dad. Marisa’s dad is a mechanic, and a very handy guy to have around. But he’s in Florida.
So I want to have something to talk to Benny about the next time I speak to him in Florida; hence I go at the pipes. I want to be able to tell him I fixed the pipe. (Marisa is in holiday with her girlfriends you see, so no DIY action from her is forthcoming)
I wrench the angled joint free and head off to B and Q. (I admit, I talk to my brother first. Don’t ever try the B and Q trip without consulting your brother first.)
At least when I’m at B and Q I can get some _Three-In-One_ oil. You know the kind that is good for everything. The reason I want to get some _Three-In-One_ is for my bicycle. I also like the fact that it was Trinity Sunday in the church yesterday, and there was all the talk of the father the son and the holy spirit, you know, the three in one. So I had to get myself some holy lubrication. I got myself some _Three-In-One_.
And i’m about to forget about my bust pipe and go off on a tangent here..
I like the spirit. I like Pentecost and the Ascension and everything. I like the whole biblical year. I mean, I’m a bit sad that Jesus goes away, and you don’t get to see him again, but I’m not too sad. He gets it just about right. The whole resurrection thing, that’s about as much of the crazy hands on stuff as the Apostles can handle. But Jesus goes off, and then he sends down the holy spirit.
I know he only did it once, back in the day, but it does feel as if it happens fresh every year. It probably only feels that way because you’re thinking about it, and if you are thinking about something, then you can feel its effect. You’ve got to believe that, right? Even if you don’t believe the other stuff.
Even if you’ve not religious at all, and have never said a prayer, you must have thought good thoughts about a person before. I mean, you thought good things about someone, and that’s good. But I bet most people have actually tried to send someone good things, good thoughts, good wishes; and that’s even better. It doesn’t have to be a prayer, but I bet it works just like a prayer.
One of these times, instead of sending someone else good thoughts, take a moment and start with yourself. Be good to yourself. Sit quiet, and wish yourself good thoughts. It’s not a selfish thing to do, no way! Buddhists have been doing this for thousands of years. Start with yourself, wish yourself good thoughts. Wish for peace and good health. Do it sincerely and without embarrassment. Do it, and I bet you will feel good for it. I just hope you will do it, and I hope you feel good, I really do.
Thing is, if you start with yourself, you can get yourself to a place where you can become really useful to other people. But I think you have to look after yourself first sometimes. It’s like taking the oxygen in the plane before you fit the mask on someone else.
Actually, something like that happens to Eve, the main person in _God Help The Girl_. She’s in a bad way, in hospital, and a man suggests to her that she might have to look after herself better.
_A nurse would come to see her. He sat on the bed. He told her about a pyramid of life, even drew it for her. At the bottom there was basic stuff like food, sleep, air, water. He said that she should master that stuff first before she thought about work again, or achieving. She happily gave into it. She felt like a baby._
I never did fix my pipe. I tried, but I couldn’t do it. I attached the attachment, I cranked the crank, and I stood back. Water went everywhere. I’m going to have to call a man.
Still, I need to get on with organising the session we’re doing next week, so I can’t mess about too much. Me and the girls and the guys in the band are going to play a few songs next Wednesday afternoon, the 17th of June.
We’re going to tape it so you can hear it after, but if you’re knocking around the west end of Glasgow with nothing to do on that Wednesday afternoon, then you’re free to wander in. There’s not that much space in this place, but if you get in touch through the God Help The Girl site, and you will genuinely be around, we’ll see what we can do about getting you in…